VOLUME II (BASHFUL VS. BITTER)

 

1. Bashful Hips Part II

And I have words that are so sad,
Break the average man,
Make women want to hold hands,
Like they were teenage girls again
And we all want to love,
But the sound of dead leaves caught between boot seams,
Stole my ears,
Like always I'm in love with October again

And I'm wondering where you are,
And I'm hoping that you're happy
And that boy you have,
He's just keeping the bed warm for me

You pull me into a corner,
My fingers through the loops in your belt,
Your hands on my back,
You bite my ear,
Teeth breaking more than skin
My blood in your mouth,
You whisper words calming my fingers,
Would you stick you're nails so far into my back,
That the burn could make my nerves dance?
Would you beat my face in,
Beyond recognition?
Use your kisses as stitches?
They say it's wrong
But are you brave enough not to care,
If you are, I want you here

 

2. New Shirt

Bought a new shirt
But I feel like the same man,
It sounds so weak on paper
I've looked for you in rain puddles,
In the reflection of bus mirror glass,
In grocery store aisles,
In terrible discos
Hoping you'd be as miserable as I' am
 
Well this fragrance we breathe,
I think it means were almost there
 
My palm on your back,
Inside of your blouse,
Your arm on my shoulder,
We've been searching in the dark for apartment keys.
The suppressed sounds of our needs,
We've been fucking like,
Getting off isn't enough,
We both don't care about all that much
We don't care about terms like us
Because were strangers
That were free

 

3. Bashful vs. Bitter

Bled from the stomach
I was in pain,
As I walked through town
My insides falling out,
Didn't seem to matter to those that were around
So it begs the question,
Do I always look this way?
 
Life it can seem so boring,
Compared to all of your fantasies,
But your hope that thinking this way
That it will build to something tangible,
Something sweet
 
Like salt on a stone,
Waiting for the slug,
Saying “Come Hither”
Leave you're maladjusted heart
Feeling bitter
 
Did God tell you it was okay?
To fuck up my life like that?
I'm glad you had to take up
With an enemy like that
I hope your heart breaks into,
As many pieces as all the days that I loved you
And I might be alone now,
But no matter who you're with,
You'll be alone forever
 
I lay down across train tracks,
Imagine this is what my graves like,
My body adjusting to the craggy rocks,
Being eaten by insects
 
Did God say it was okay?
To fuck up my life like that?
Well I’m glad you had to take up with the enemy

 

4. Voiced Vowels

In your Ninja Turtle t-shirt,
You melted my heart,
From the bay area
I bet that's where your smile comes from.
A summer job as a coffee slinging barista
You seem happy,
I’ve been forcing a fake smile,
But sometimes it comes out naturally,
Like your fingers pressing the chord C,
And your other hand strumming strings
 
No need to be embarrassed, the honest sound of voiced vowels
Is a welcomed change
 
Lonely, sipping tension tamer tea,
Microwave buzzing,
Asking stupid questions like “Why me?
Filling humidifiers,
clothes stuck in dryers,
A pen trapped in a spiral note book where
I wrote words...
 
Shuffling my feet in the dirt,
A fridge magnet with the words “bitter” produced itself,
Don't know how that made me feel,
With headphones on,
And my dress shoes tied,
Ironed pants and a suit
 
I know my art has been misused and abused,
But it takes time to recognize that the knifes been pulled out of you
 
Put my body through flames,
Close my eyes every Saturday night,
Crawling into bed,
Darkness can make it alright,
If you find solace in thinking I'm writing these songs for you
Ill tell you you're wrong

 

5. Happy Birthday

She makes green jewelery,
A Brooklyn apartment looking over the city,
Only people like you and me,
Could find it pretty
 
She works hard and she has good friends,
A roommate from her dorm room days,
She creates a website,
A space to sell her earrings,
She's got a booth in the city,
Shes got a degree she keeps in her back pocket.
That makes her the green to pay for that,
Brooklyn apartment
 
And she makes changes and goes out on dates,
She has fireworks on her birthday
I guess there's really not much else to say,
Except happy birthday